My Wish List for Zach and Angela’s (my daughter) Marriage July 31, 2010

Dear Zach and Angela,

I wish you many years of happiness and love together. When the times come that you are not particularly feeling loving, please be kind to each other. There is no higher calling then to practice kindness in the face of feeling unloving, or especially feeling unloved.

As the years go by and you grow in wisdom and life experience I wish for you to open your hearts a little bit more and more day by day. Learn to let go of grievances quickly and put your attention on what really matters. As you get older may your eyes get a little bit weaker so that you have difficulty seeing the faults in each other.

I wish for you both an abundance of material wealth, and every happiness that money can buy. I especially wish for you both to wake up each day with gratitude for what you have. Know that to those that are grateful for what they have more will be given.

I wish you an ever expanding capacity for patience and compassion, not only for each other but for yourselves as well. Remember that you can only give to each other what you truly have to give. You can never really “make” the other person happy, but you can choose to appreciate them in even the smallest ways. By doing so you help your life companion to get in touch with their own source of happiness and joy.

Zach, may you always see in Angela the beautiful, loving young lady that you saw the moment you first fell in love with her. At times when she seems overly emotional or unreasonable, see this as an opportunity to practice patience. Don’t depend on her for all your approval and your feelings of self worth. From time to time she will test you, even push you away to see what your made of. This too will pass. It’s especially important at these times that you have a strong sense of your inner strength and who you are. It also helps to have conscious man friends that can validate you without bashing your spouse.

Angela, may you always see in Zach the strong, brave and kind hearted man you fell in love with. Know that he really does want you to be happy and take responsibility for teaching him how to please you in a loving, gentle way. When the urge comes to criticize take a deep breath, then ask yourself the question “how can I really bring out the best in him?”

Finally, above all I wish for you each to know deep in the fabric of your being that you are loved and you truly deserve to be happy. Not only can you be happy, but you deserve to be happy. Of course I’m not talking about happiness like eating an ice cream and then afterwards feeling guilty that you went over your calorie allowance for the week. Those moments of pleasure come and go. I’m talking about a deep, lingering joy in your heart that you can feel whenever you put your attention there. It’s this kind “happiness” that I sincerely wish for you, no, that I deeply long for you – as your father and someone who loves you both. You both deserve it.